The Gift of Laughter
Psalms 126:1-3
I had been seeing a Christian counselor for several weeks. The time had come to confront the issue of abuse, neglect and terror I endured as a child, abuse that had spilled over into my adulthood, holding me back from any real joy, joy that our Father god so desperately wanted me to have.
I started the session openly confessing my sins to our Father. I fell to the floor on my hands and knees, begging for mercy, begging for forgiveness, desperately pleading for grace. I confessed that even though my sins stemmed from the abuse I endured, that I had in fact committed these sins and that I was so sorry I was wrong, Father please forgive me. I began sobbing. The dam inside me broke and the tears flowed like a raging river.
It was time to pray and ask God to release me from the bondage of my abusive mother. My past. I pleaded, please God help me let her go. The most peculiar thing happened, as I uttered those words, laughter came out of me. It was the most joyful, full, and robust laughter I had ever heard. It came from deep inside my soul. I can’t even begin to describe how full this laughter was. I remember thinking this laughter must be inappropriate. I had just spent the hour sobbing and confessing my sin and now I’m laughing. I trusted my Father almighty God and let the laughter flow. Then, along with my counselor, we prayed that God would take the chain of bondage I had been dragging around. It was at that moment I had a vision of God taking that chain into his almighty hands. I felt so warm, so loved, and so safe. He then said, “This child is mine!” Then He reached down and released the collar attached to the chain and said, “you are free”. I saw myself running through a field, a field of innocence, running right into the open, loving arms of our father, the almighty God.
I turned to my counselor and asked her “what was with all the laughing? That was so strange.” She explained that the Holy Spirit had come on me.
A week later, I shared my experience with Pastor Ron, and what he told me really made sense. He said that when we trust God to take something bad from us, God would fill that space with something good.
All I can say is “Wow!” He does exist. He is so wonderful and He loves me.
I’m no longer haunted by my past. I’m free; free to love, free to forgive, and free to enjoy this precious life God has given me.